Life Beyond Chronic Illness: Healing, Hope, and the Future I See

When I look at myself, it's not the present me that I see. I don't see a body with a shaky left side or an arm that has become weak and hard to use. I don't see the aches and pains, brain fog, or fatigue that can at times be all consuming.

I see the future. My body's strong and stable, ready to tackle any hike, bike ride, or challenging workout. I can imagine muscles reappearing and my squishy middle disappearing. Chronic aches and pains and unrelenting fatigue are replaced by soreness from exercising with heavy weights again and comfortable tiredness after a day well spent and a body well used.

I see days, weeks, and months spread before me with the promise of many adventures to come. Long summer days relaxing at the beach. Warm spring breezes on my face and fields of wildflowers that look and smell heavenly. Cool fall days spent marveling at nature's colorful preparation for the hibernation to come. Cold winter days with a hot tea by a crackling fire and a bubbling stew on the stove..

There are the first greens of spring, a summer strawberry, juicy and sweet. The tart bite of crisp fall apples and the comfort of warm, homemade bread (sourdough of course) fresh from the oven.

I hear the laughter of friends and the steady voices of family. I catch glimpses of my adult daughter as she continues to find her own way and build her life. I feel contentment in the arms of my love and partner and satisfaction in the simple world we have created together. I see beauty, possibility, and abundance.

While I steadfastly continue to focus on the now, enjoying each moment as it comes, I am also creating this future I envision. It is what keeps me committed to the lifestyle changes and self-healing work that are allowing my body to slowly return to a place of vibrant Wellness. It keeps me motivated and encouraged on even the darkest days.

They say life is what you make it, so I choose to make it magnificent. I could easily slide into negativity and victim mode:

“This is so unfair!”

“I'm too young to be this sick!”

“Why do bad things keep happening to me!”

“That stupid tick ruined my life!”

But instead, I've flipped the script to one of hope and positivity:

“This is an opportunity to learn and grow as a holistic practitioner.”

“My experience has helped me to become more empathetic to my clients.”

“I'm grateful I had the knowledge to figure out what was making me sick.”

“This is a good reminder to take full advantage of everyday I'm alive!”

Despite not being 100% healed or back to my old self I am still living my best life every day.

When I look at myself I see the future me. What do you see?